BETA day

9  very long days ago we transferred 1 of our 9 embryos which made it to 5 day blasts.  We were fortunate enought to have 8 good to excellent quality embryos sent to the freezer, as we opted to do a selective single embryo transfer, as instructed by our fertility doctor.

Today, feels like it could drag on forever.  I had my blood drawn at 7am and we are waiting for the results, but I already know in the depths of my heart our transfer was unsuccessful.  It is so strange to feel such an immense attachment to this little being, and while not ever being pregnant, I still feel this overwhelming sense of loss.  It is just a deep emptiness, almost a numbness.

I have already begun my grieving process and have started to turn the corner from anger to acceptance, however what seems most painful is watching your partner grieve.  We grieve and heal so differently and at different paces, but this is the most heartbreaking feeling where no words can give it justice.

So, we will pick up the pieces of our hearts and muster the strength to move forward. One day at a time and continue to stand in hope and believe in faith!

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